G.I. Joe: Retaliation

In short G.I. Joe: Retaliation is a badly written and directed movie. From the beginning I got a feeling that the writer/s had worked very hard on connecting the plots of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra and G.I. Joe: Retaliation with disastrous results. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra wasn’t a great movie and G.I. Joe: Retaliation isn’t any better.

There are mindless action sequences one after another, by the time the movie ends you would be taking a sigh of relief. Now coming back to the plot. The Prime minister of Pakistan is assassinated, the President of United States orders the G.I. Joe’s to secure the nuclear warheads which incidentally is under the control of Pakistani extremist. After the nuclear warheads are secured Zartan who is impersonating the President of the United States gets the entire team eliminated and the Cobra gets the nuclear warheads. Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki) are the only survivors. President of the United States (Zartan) further goes on to blame G.I. Joe’s for stealing nuclear warheads from Pakistan.

Unfortunately Dwayne Johnson can’t act. His scenes of camaraderie with Duke (Channing Tatum) are real drag. An attempt is made to create a romantic angle between Flint and Lady Jaye but uninterrupted action doesn’t provide any scope for any story to develop.

Bruce Willis sleep walks through his role of General Joseph Colton. The ending is even more appalling with world leaders parading their suitcases and nuclear bombs being thrown around like a game of Dodge-ball. Only saving grace in the movie is Jonathan Pryce playing the President of America. The movie also introduces Ray Stevenson as a Cobra mercenary Firefly.

This movie was banned in Pakistan and I can see why it was banned. But if you enjoy Pak-Bashing or for that matter North Korea bashing, it is a good movie to watch!

Thankfully I didn’t have to pay to watch this movie. If you happen to miss out on watching this movie, you haven’t actually missed anything!

Movies you should be glad you missed in 2012!

I have only mentioned the movies I have seen. If you have seen other bad movies feel free to drop in their names

1. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Easily one of the worst movie I have seen in a long long time! I just couldn’t figure out whether it was an effort at making a serious movie! With a heavy-duty star cast this movie was a total disappointment. The story is as poor as ever but the biggest let down is the CGI part of the movie. Some of the scenes are pretty confusing it looked like the directory wasn’t sure whether he wanted to make a serious movie or a movies for kids. In the end he achieved neither.

2. A Thousand Words

I agree 2012 started on a very bad note. I started with Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and happen to watch A Thousand Words. Unfortunately the movie didn’t make me laugh, as can be seen from reviews of the movie it didn’t make many laugh. Movie was a complete waste of time. Eddie Murphy‘s trademark expressions stood out as odd thanks to the bad script.

3. Wrath of the Titans

I could find so many things wrong with this movie from the Greek mythology point of view, but that is a different story. The movie carries the rebellion theme of Clash of the Titans but isn’t as good as Clash of the Titans. I admit Clash of the Titans wasn’t a great movie but this one isn’t very close to it. Some how the movies has a mechanical feel to it and you don’t connect with any of the characters. One time watch at best of times.

4. That`s My Boy

One word to describe this movie is boring. Everyone is sleeping with everyone else! I have enjoyed quite a few of Adam Sandler‘s older movie but this one would most definitely go into his growing list of bad movies. As one person puts it. Movie is real drag if you missed it you just got lucky.

5. Battleship

Another disappointing movie. While it is similarly themed to Battle: Los Angeles, but this movie isn’t as good as Battle: LA. With a super star cast this movie was a big disaster. As one reviewer put it “Battleship” doesn’t sink, really. It just sits there booming endlessly as you look on aghast.

I didn’t mention John Carter in the list because I felt that the movie was better than these movies and I was really tempted to add The Lorax and Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. The problem with The Lorax was that I had read the book “The Lorax” by Dr. Seuss and just felt that the movie had mutilated the book. The main character Lorax was turned into a joke! Journey 2 the Mysterious Island was all about graphics and nothing else.

If you feel like I missed out on watching any bad movie I 2012 Please let me know. I want to feel lucky for a while!

Rules of the Fight Club

Fight Club happens to be one of my favourite movie. Fight Club was named the 10th greatest movie of all time by Empire magazine in its issue of The 500 Greatest Movies of All Time. Rules of the Fight Club are legendary. So lets pay these rules a visit!

1st RULE: You do not talk about Fight Club.

2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about Fight Club.

3rd RULE: If someone says “stop” or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.

4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight.

5th RULE: One fight at a time.

6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.

7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.

8th RULE: If this is your first night at Fight Club, you HAVE to fight.

In Tyler Durden voice!

If you are a die-hard fan of the Fight Club you have to got through the list of Memorable quotes and Goof ups

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I went in 1 hour early to watch The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. 9 am on a Christmas morning I was standing outside the Mall to get my tickets (Could have purchased the tickets online but it doesn’t feel the same!). 1 hour later I was inside the theater watching the movie I have been waiting for a long time!

I had my apprehensions about the movie ever since it was announced that Hobbits would be a trilogy like Lord of the rings and unlike LOTR trilogy, The Hobbits was a book written for kids. I have read the book couple of times. To be honest I have not enjoyed quite a few movies that were based on a book. Having seen directors like Chris Columbus ruin Harry Potter film series (And now he is ruining Percy Jackson and the Olympians series), I wasn’t sure whether Peter Jackson could do it right again. Few minutes into the movie and I knew I was in a for a very good treat. The magic of the Middle Earth for there for all to see.

In the book the dwarves came across as little greedy and very grumpy. There was no way you could like them, like you liked Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins. The best thing about the movie is that Peter Jackson makes you feel sorry for dwarves and you tend to cheer for them. They are shown as normal people with loyalty, who are fighting for what they had lost.

As the movie goes The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is not based page by page on the Hobbits the book. There are lots of changes in the movie and that adds a bit of substance and meaning to the movie and makes it a more pleasurable experience to watch the movie.

Time for a short synopsis:

The adventure follows the journey of title character Bilbo Baggins, who is swept into an epic quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome dragon Smaug. Approached out of the blue by the wizard Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo finds himself joining a company of thirteen dwarves led by the legendary warrior, Thorin Oakenshield. Their journey will take them into the Wild; through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins and Orcs, deadly Wargs and Giant Spiders, Shapeshifters and Sorcerers.

The focus is basically on three characters:

Sir Ian McKellen as Gandalf the Grey: Once again it almost looks like he was always meant to play Gandalf (Mithrandir). He looks complete natural like he did in LOTR.

Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins: Pulled out the role to perfection. There are two stages to Bilbo Baggins. One where Bilbo is scared and doesn’t want to be part of the quest and the other where he finds his courage and fights shoulder to shoulder along side dwarves. Having seen him play small supporting roles in movies like Ali G Indahouse, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. I wasn’t sure whether he was a right guy to play Bilbo Baggins. But by the looks of it, he is just the right guy!

Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield: looked good in his role as the angry leader of the Company of Dwarves and thanks to Peter Jackson’s script changes his anger was justifiable.

Best thing about watching movie in a theater is that you sense what other people felt about the movie. I can vividly remember few scenes in the movie.

1. The scene where Gandalf helps the dwarves escape from the Goblins led by the Great Goblin was truly epic!
2. Gollum paddling from his island (Slimy island) in his little raft.
3. The game of riddles played out between Gollum and Bilbo Baggins. Gollum had everyone watching the movie in splits of laughter. It is really sad Andy Serkis never got Academy Awards for playing Gollum. Brilliant actor!
4. Thorin Oakenshield swallows his pride and accepts to Bilbo Baggins that he had never been so wrong about anybody else and hugs him.

If you haven’t seen the movie, make it a point to watch it. You won’t be disappointed!

The Dark Knight Rises

“High expectation” two words to define The Dark Knight Rises. Three hasn’t been a lucky number for lots of movie franchises.

The Dark Knight Rises

Take for example Alien 3 (4 was even worse), Spider-Man 3, The Matrix Revolutions. But there are exceptions to the rule The Lord of the Rings: Return of the king, Ice Age 3, Back to the Future Part III. I expect The Dark Knight Rises to follow the latter and not the former.

Not much is known about the movie. But there are rumours that the play boy Millionaire (later Billionaire) Bruce Wayne is going to find a new love interest and this movie will introduce Bane and Catwoman. Once again Chris Nolan has assembled a strong cast. There is no need to mention anything about the acting prowess of Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman and Morgan Freeman all seasoned actors. If you have seen this trailer you would realize that there will be massive mayhem in Gotham City.

Will it match the heights of The Dark Knight?
I hope so and I have my fingers crossed. There was a point in The Dark Knight were I started to feel that the mayhem unleashed by the Joker will never end and that is a kind of feeling you will rarely feel in a movie these days. Every time I watch The Dark Knight I remember it. So in a way The Dark Knight Rises has a huge challenge in front of it.

New characters added to the cast are

Marion Cotillard of Inception fame as Miranda Tate
Joseph Gordon-Levitt of Inception fame as John Blake
Cillian Murphy of Inception (28 days later) fame as Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow
Tom Hardy of Inception (Warrior) fame as Bane
Liam Neeson as Ra’s al Ghul.
Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle

I have put Inception next to the names for the actors to re-emphasize the fact that Chris Nolan re-works with stars. Most of these actors have done well in the past.

The Dark Knight series have had strong negative characters Ra’s al Ghul, Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow and Carmine Falcone in Batman Begins, Joker and Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight and Selina Kyle, Ra’s al Ghul (hoping it’s not a guest appearance) and Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. There are two characters I am most interested in. One is Ra’s al Ghul and the other is Bane.

Ra’s al Ghul
Liam Neeson has an amazing screen presence. He is able put life into characters and movies that are not that well written and make them watchable. Unknown and Taken would have bombed (flopped) at the box without Liam Neeson, he simply elevates the movies and the characters he plays. It would be fun to see him as Ra’s al Ghul again. I didn’t have any negative emotions (that I normally have for negative characters) for his portrait of Ra’s al Ghul, he simply came across as a natural person. A man taking revenge for loss of his family.

Bane
The role of Bane is played by Tom Hardy, those of you who have seen Warrior (I have seen) would agree that Tom Hardy looked natural playing the role of Tommy Conlon. Tom Hardy played a role of former U.S. Marine who is angry with his family in the movie Warrior. It would be interesting to see what he does with Bane. I am looking for lots of intensity from him. It could be his big break. Not sure whether he needs it after Inception and Warrior.

No Batman movie discussion will be complete without Heath Ledger’s Joker. Sadly we wouldn’t see Heath Ledger’s Joker in the final installation of the series. I hope the movie has some kind of homage to Joker and Heath Ledger because without Heath, Joker wouldn’t be as menacing as in The Dark Knight and without Joker The Dark Knight wouldn’t have been The Dark Knight.

For one thing this movie is going to be a sure shot hit. Unfortunately I won’t be able to watch the movie in its first week of release. Hopefully I will be able to watch it in the second week!

To read more movie reviews and to book tickets please click on The Dark Knight Rises.